Outtakes
by korel.c
Summary: Little accounts of comedy, fluff, and weird situations that the Titans get into.
1. Outtakes: Take One

**Outtakes**

**A/N:** These snippets of dialogue were from the old days - okay, last year - when everything was okay, and we were laughing incessantly at the human language (and each other's reactions). When I read some of the stuff I recorded, I laugh, then I cry. Some things change, and they change in a depressing way. And, yes, I extended most of them, so that they make more sense in context.

**A/N 2:** These are going to be limited in number, because I don't have that many pieces of conversation to extend, and those carefree days of humour are over.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Teen Titans, the characters of Teen Titans, or even the dialogue that is portrayed here. Although I had some hand in creating some of it.

Long author's note done. For now. Now. Read.

* * *

**'Remote Control'**

"So, whaddya wanna watch?"

Beast Boy plunked himself down on the couch, looking up at the wall-covering screen.

"What's on?"

Cyborg scrambled for the remote control, turning on the large screen. Flicking through mostly boring channels (ooh, video game reviews!), Cyborg and Beast Boy settled back to channel surf.

It really was too bad they couldn't decide on any particular channel.

After a brief tussle ("A meat channel?! How could you sign us up to that, Cy?!") over the remote, Beast Boy was flicking through the channels from behind and under the couch.

They were nearing channel five hundred when Cyborg got the faintest glimmer of a joke within his brain.

"Hey, grass stain, I got a joke that's better than yours."

Beast Boy popped out from under the sofa, seeming to almost sinuously flow forwards, up and backwards to rest himself on the cushioned seat and lie back. Still clutching tightly onto the remote, green ears pinned back, almost snarling at Cy.

"Peace, man. You wanna hear the joke or not?"

Beast Boy's ears flicked up once in acknowledgement, still holding the remote close, although he had paused in flicking channels.

"What do the initials of remote control and a wall have in common?"

Beast Boy thought deeply. _'Remote control'...are see... arsy? Arse? And a wall? Uh..._

Some flicker of that inner concentration must have struck a gear within Cyborg, because his chuckle suddenly filled the room.

"You don't get it, BB?"

Beast Boy shook his head, his grip loosening on the remote in his hands, which Cyborg promptly noted. _Arse? Wall?_

Taking a deep breath, Cyborg grinned before shouting out his hard-figured answer: "They both have cracks!"

He curled over laughing, not noticing Beast Boy looking at him with a large sweatdrop rolling down his forehead.

* * *

**'_Touch_ The Pole'**

"Beast Boy, why do you have a pole sticking up in the middle of your room?"

"It's a good luck pole, like a tribal totem, almost. Only unlike tribal totems, which sometimes have totem animals on it, I have a long steel pole, cause I can be all my totem animals, which kinda defeats the purpose of them leading me out on dream quests, and..."

"Take a pause for breath, will you? The pole's not going to go anywhere."

"But you are!" Pleading eyes, kitten/puppy-wide. Moistening tears gathering in a corner of an eye.

Take a deep breath. "No, I'm not. Everyone else is out shopping, and I have nothing else to do." Curiosity getting the better of her, she asks, "So, what do you do with the pole?"

Cringing, the innuendo seems to have gone unnoticed.

He's serious now, something in his posture gone rigid, the very picture of discipline and lecture, if not for the big grin still present on his face.

"Like all good luck poles, you have to be one with the pole. You have to touch it, smell it, kiss it, lick it, be it."

"Like this." Caresses and licks later, he beckons to her. "Your turn."

She's backing away. "No way, Gar, you're not making me do this!"

"Please? It's good luck!"

She could never resist those eyes.

"Remind me what I'm supposed to do again?"

"Touch the pole." Eyes twitching even while closed, she reaches out and touches the pole. It's warm, surprisingly, smooth and yet rough to her fingers.

"Smell the pole." Trying to shoot him a glare from behind closed lids (she doesn't want to see his triumphant grin), Raven presses her nose forward, to draw in a scent that smells of steel, and some exotic African musk.

"Kiss the pole." Feeling ridiculous, she brushes her lips against the column, feeling the same silk-like yet coarse texture on her lips, hearing the harsh indrawn gasp as he takes in the sight.

"Lick the pole." Though an even tone, she can still feel his delight in making her uncomfortable, and she rebels against it, darting her tongue out against the pillar stuck in the exact middle of Beast Boy's room. To her surprise, it's faintly spicy, with a hint of oil and just plain steel. It's also a little sticky, which is, frankly, disgusting. A quick dart, and she's done.

Looking at him with her eyes closed, she says, "What next?"

He's breathing quickly. "Be the pole."

That's the easiest of all. She pictures herself being the pole, cool but warm, coarse but smooth, spicy with a hint of oil and steel, and she stands still, not wondering.

She can feel his gaze on her.

"That's good luck, for sure." He sounds grave, and she opens her eyes to meet his unwonted serious expression, mouth lopsidedly twitching.

"Now you have to do it once more, to cement the good luck."

She gazes at him flatly. "I'm not doing this again."

All the same, she's doing exactly the same thing later.

And she's finding she enjoys it. Strange and odd as it is, she enjoys it.

"Three times' the charm!"

"I'm not..." She does it anyway, finds it comforting.

"C'mon Rae, you'll have good luck for the rest of the week!"

"No." Trying to pull out of it, but she's being drawn back in. The tall cylindrical pole tastes like homecoming, oddly.

"For me?"

"Why do I even..." As Beast Boy looks at her closely, and smiles; they've been in there for a while, judging by how the light's quietened and indigoed - "No, no, no, no, no, and finally, no!" But her protests are weak, lacking from its usual sarcasm, and it's with no difficulty that he pushes her back towards the good luck pole.

The Titans alarm klaxons through the corridors and into Beast Boy's room, jarring Raven out of a pleasant trance, sent there by a faint African musk and spices. A smile graces its way onto her face. "Thanks for the experience. I... liked it."

"You know where that pole's been, right?" He looks at her, eyes wide as his mind twists its way towards inexorable logic.

"I gotta go!" He springs out of his door, changing into greyhound and sprinting towards the main room, leaving a little slobber behind.

It is that slobber, disgusting in itself, that brings Raven to a conclusion.

If Beast Boy knew what to do with his good luck pole, he was undoubtedly doing it himself. And if he was, then what she'd been enjoying smelling (and touching, and tasting, and kissing) was...

"Ohh..." Deflating exhaled breath.

Him.

* * *


	2. Outtakes: Take Two

**Outtakes: Take Two  
**

**A/N:** And yes, 'Amputation' happened to me. With approximately the same amount of sarcasm. And about that much of a _non-sequitur._

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Titans, the characters of the Teen Titans, and even the dialogue - although I did have some small part in making some of it.

Now read.

* * *

**'Amputation'**

Raven was weeping.

Lightbulbs were flashing blue-black before they exploded, sliding doors slamming open, kettles, saucepans, and other kitchen appliances imploding. Black tendrils were scoring the very walls of the Tower, arcing through windows in a display of pure temper.

Raven was weeping.

From time to time, the cacophony of the splintering of lightbulbs and shrill squeal of imploding appliances would stop, the sudden, oppressive quiet revealing small sobs. Then the sounds would begin again, until even Robin, the heir to a great Empire, to whom money was no object, was practically frothing at the mouth at the cost of replacing that many necessities.

It probably didn't help that all the pillows, cushions, and toilet paper had also burst into rags of thread and feathers.

It probably didn't help that the kitchen was a mess, the cupboards doors hanging by one miserable hinge, the cutlery bent, the china and plastic cracked and broken, the sink twisted until water shot upwards in a fountain.

It most probably did not help Robin that Starfire was crying over the loss of several of the teddy bears he had given her - their heads had been decapitated in a flare of black power, a moment before obliteration.

Raven was weeping.

Looking down at the beach through a spiderwebbing of broken glass was as if looking down at a scene of barren land after war. Raven's powerful emotion had left no rock unbroken, the once-sheer outlook onto the sea disentegrating into a gentle pebbled-sand slope.

Raven was weeping.

Taking it onto herself to find out why Raven was causing quite so much devastation, Starfire wandered over to Raven and sat down beside her.

Beast Boy and Cyborg slowly crept out from under the couch where they had been hiding from Raven.

The voices of Starfire and Raven grew into something resembling a low hum as the boys of the Titans decided not to restart any GameStation games they could have played. Considering that the big screen had three massive holes on it, however, they wouldn't have been able to see anything as it was.

"Friend Raven," Star said firmly, "You should apologise to Robin. It is he, after all, who must replace the necessities in our environment. You should also apologise to Cyborg and Beast Boy, for scaring them."

Raven's lips quivered for a moment, before becoming firm. "I'm sorry, Robin. I won't do that again. I lost control of myself."

The normally curt Boy Wonder softened for just a moment. "It's fine, Raven. I'll just have to talk to Bruce about some extra 'allowance'."

"Cyborg, Beast Boy, I'm sorry for scaring you. And," she looked upwards at the ruined screen, "For stopping your game."

Cyborg clanked over to her. "No problem, Raven. Anyway, it was Beast Boy's high score that was wiped, so I don't mind-" he kept talking over Beast Boy's indignant, "Hey!", "-But perhaps next time, you should take it out on something else."

Raven nodded mutely, her eyes bright with unshed tears. Noting this, Cyborg smiled gently.

"Need a hug?"

Another nod, and taking it as permission, Cyborg wrapped his arms around her.

"Thanks, Cy." She closed her eyes, losing herself into his warmth and concern for her.

"No worries, Raven." As he let her go, Robin instantly stepped in to offer his own reassurance. After Robin released her, Raven was starting to look more or less at peace. Star took his place immediately, sweeping Raven up in a bone-crushing hug.

Even though Raven could not breathe, her equilibrium (and expression) calmed immensely. When Starfire released her though, she sank down onto the sofa. Beast Boy looked very lonely, approaching her tentatively.

"Uh...do you need...uh...want a hug from me?"

She glared at him, unreasonably.

"Only if you amputate your dick."

* * *

**'The Freshest Ingredients'**

"And so, from that day onward, Ryand'r refused to have _anything_ to do with my sister's baking! Even her zorka pies!"

Robin was looking at her with an expression of utmost adoration. His eyes, behind his mask, were locked firmly on her face, and he leaned forward, listening with an almost obsessive patience. He loved to hear her speak.

He resembled nothing so much as a fanatically loyal puppy.

"So let me get this straight. Your little brother found what is the Tamaranian equivalent of weevils in your flour, and believed that Komand'r had cooked weevils into his pie?"

Starfire nodded, hair bouncing. "Even though we threw out all of that batch of pies, he still refused to eat anything Komi baked. He'd eat a lot of what I made, however. It is how I got so good at substituting ingredients."

Robin nodded vigorously, not quite paying attention to her words.

"And then Komi found more of the insects in her stew one night. We never told Ryand'r about it, although I did drop subtle hints, seeing if he realised it."

"Hints like...?"

Starfire giggled. "Hints like 'Komi, thank you for using the freshest ingredients! It puts _life_ into your food!"

Robin raised an eyebrow, breaking into hiccuping giggles himself.

* * *

**'Devotion'**

"Hey, Rae, don't you think this is almost painful to watch?"

Robin was leaving to go back to Gotham, if only for a while. Starfire was sobbing softly in a corner, arms wrapped tightly around her beloved Silkie.

Without turning towards Beast Boy, Raven nodded. "It's actually worse than that - I can feel their emotions, remember? Starfire's crushed, insecure, hurt, and Robin's about the same, except with a darker tone. It's actually physically painful."

"What would you recommend then, Dr. Raven? What should they do to be okay?"

"I think a hug would do."

"Gotcha!"

x--x

Robin finished packing the last of his uniforms. He tested the heft of his bag, half-turning to go. He couldn't bear to see Starfire's shoulders shaking like that, couldn't bear to see her tears.

"Robin?" Starfire asked, eyes still bright with tears. "Do you have nothing to say to me before you go?"

He turned and looked at her, opening his mouth to confess that he had loved her for as long as she had him - and found he could not say it. He closed his mouth, shut his eyes, and turned away.

x--x

Beast Boy crept up behind and under Robin in the form of an ant, waiting for just the right moment.

When Starfire whispered, "Robin," and he turned back to wave farewell, Beast Boy sprang, morphing into a python, wrapping his long, thick body around the two of them and holding them together.

x--x

In a rare moment of being caught off-guard, Robin stumbled forward, his usual grace deserting him. He stretched his arms out to prevent a fall, only to collide, body-to-body, with Starfire. Feeling her body against his, and feeling the python bonding them tightly together, he wrapped those grasping arms around her, making it seem as though he planned it all along.

Starfire dropped Silkie, who complained bitterly, to hug Robin back, looking into his masked eyes.

x--x

After that, every time they parted, their friends would wait one minute, two minutes, five, smiling with their promises and devotion and wistful longing.

* * *

_Scribere jussit amor._

_--KorelC--_


	3. Outtakes: Take Three

**Outtakes: Take Three **

**Disclaimer:** Nuppy.

* * *

**'Camera Moment: Part I'**

"Aww, look at them hugging. It's so cute, don't ya think, Cy?"

"Heh, I agree. ...What's that look on your face imply?"

Beast Boy was giggling a little. "Take a picture, take a picture!"

The cybernetic man smirked, raising his arm. It twisted into a lens. "Yeah, It'd make great blackmail material."

"Yo, Rob!"

Robin spun his head around, eyes widening from within the mask, arms still locked tight around Starfire. With an admirable reaction time, he let go of her, steadying her but looking no more than friends.

_Ka-chunk._

"Oh man, why'd you have to go and spoil it?"

* * *

Later that day, after the Titans'd sent Control Freak packing, Starfire looked slightly mournful.

"Robin? I am sorry that I let you be flung into the wall..."

Without words, he enfolded her in his embrace.

"Cy! Picture!"

Cyborg raised his arm again, sonic cannon dismantling and lens forming.

Not moving from where Starfire was using him as a teddy bear, Robin called, "Raven!"

_Ka-chunk._

A large, black-glowing chunk of pavement blocked the lens.

"Aww, Rae, why'd you have to go and spoil it?"

* * *

"It's only for a week, Starfire; Batman just wants me back there to keep an eye on Gotham while he goes off with the Justice League. I can't think of why - Batgirl's still there. He's just being an idiot. But I do have to go, so..."

"It has been twice already, Robin! Does Batman need you so much? Can you not refuse?"

"I...owe him a lot, Starfire. Previous debts aside, he's stood up for us against the Justice League - and he means much to them. So...this is my debt payment." Robin dropped his luggage. "Cummere."

He swept her up in his arms, leaning in.

From where Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Raven were watching, Beast Boy leaned over to Cyborg, whispering in his ear: "Hey, Cy, picture."

Trying to make as little noise as possible, Cyborg lifted his arm. It reformed into a camera lens. Pointing it at the entwined couple, Cyborg motioned Beast Boy with his other hand to distract Raven.

Beast Boy was already toying with her hood in the form of a hummingbird, causing her no end of annoyance.

* * *

From where Robin and Starfire were hugging, Robin whispered into her ear: "Star, zap Cyborg's camera, okay?"

She nodded.

* * *

"Cy, you ready?"

"Always, little man." Raising his voice, he called across the room. "Yo, Rob!" He aimed his camera, computerised eye co-ordinating with his arm.

_Ka-..._

_Vorrr-hwssh..._

_Zapp-tsss!_

"Oh man, my camera! ...Oh man, my arm! _Man, why did you have to spoil it?!_"

Robin and Starfire giggled.

* * *

**'Chairs On Your Th-roat'**

"I knew you shouldn't have been trusted to watch him in the bar."

"Oh, come on, Rae, it was in the smallest shotglass! How was I supposed to know it had the highest-proof alcohol there?"

"...Because it was in the smallest shotglass?"

"Oh, fine. Have it your way. ...Oh look, there he goes again. Do you think we should call Starfire to come and pick him up?"

"No. Cyborg and Starfire have to patrol the city while _we_ collect our 'esteemed' leader. As it was your fault in the first place, I think you should be the one to catch him if he falls."

"Oh, all right then."

In the form of a bat, Beast Boy winged over the city's rooftops. Under the light of the moon, the quiet warehouses of the docks looked tired and saggy, shifting pools of shadows flickering there and away under the half-lidded gaze of the streetlamps. Behind him, Raven followed noiselessly.

Robin giggled and shot a grapple-line, connecting to the lightning rod of another warehouse. To him the flickering shadows looked like the brazen neon signs of his native Gotham, where an young (trained, disciplined, but still young) vigilante could find a few thrills, flying past the guards and scaring prospective muggers away.

Carrying a half-empty bottle with one hand, Robin failed to reach the target he desired, as his directional sense swayed. The grappel line instead caught on the edge of a rooftop, and then he was midway through the air and twisting to one side as his numb mind created a SmileX bomb heading for him. The line released, and he fell, still giggling.

"Ah!" Panicking, Beast Boy shifted into seal, diving through the air and falling past Robin. Getting under his leader, Beast Boy changed into pterodactyl, bones lengthening until his talons touched the ground. Robin's body thunked against bony spine, and he slid down to the ground, still giggling.

Raven descended to the ground next to Robin.

"What were you thinking, Beast Boy? Having a bony back catch him is just as bad as him hitting the ground!"

Beast Boy shifted back, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh, I wasn't thinking?"

Raven sighed. "C'mon, let's get him home- hey, where did he go?"

They could still hear Robin's giggles echo around a corner, bottle clinking against a wall.

"Oh man." Pouting, Beast Boy walked after Robin, as Raven ascended into the sky. "I'm getting more practice shifting tonight than I usually get when Robin's consciously training me..."

Robin giggled again, enjoying the sound of his own voice as he headed towards the edge of the docks. He took another deep draught of the bottle he carried and stilled. Was that...was that the Joker after him? Thoughts turning paranoid, he sprinted for the edge of the docks.

Drifting on the wind, Beast Boy cursed the darkness through owl eyes. He caught a snatch of movement and dove down towards it, Raven following. Twisting back into human, he fell, calling Raven. "Cage him!"

He changed into kangaroo, bouncing high.

"I thought you'd never ask. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"

An uncovered cage sprang up at Raven's call, arcing around Robin. He was trapped, yet he continued to run, face pressed against the (non-shocking) pulsating energy that Raven controlled.

"Finally!"

Beast Boy shifted back to human, standing just outside the bars of the cage.

"There's a good Robin, now give back the bottle. It's not good for you, you know."

"Mine!"

Disregarding the spectacle of their respectable leader hugging the green-tinted bottle as though it were a pillow, Raven landed beside Beast Boy, who was still trying (to no avail) to get the bottle back.

"It's really bad for you, Robin. Just...give back the bottle."

"Mine!"

Beast Boy made the mistake of reaching through the bars of the cage, grabbing hold of the bottle. Thinking the bottle was an extension of his arm, Robin arched backwards in a wrestling throw. Beast Boy was tossed into the cage, flying over Robin's head. He crashed into the other side of the cage, falling in a manner reminiscent of a slapstick slide.

"Mine!"

Raven laughed. "Get up, Beast Boy."

"I'm trying," Beast Boy groggily pulled himself to his feet. "Even drunk, he's hard to outwit."

Still paranoid, Robin hunched over the bottle, green faces swimming through his mind. Green meant Poison Ivy, but then she wasn't really green but just a sorta purple and black that's someone different animals! Poison Ivy hates animals so it can't be animals it's gotta be-

"Here, Beasht Boy, takuh drink..." Robin swayed, holding out the bottle, wide grin of comraderie on his face.

"Uh..."

"Itsh't only wat-uhr..."

"Well, that _is_ one way of getting the bottle away from him," Raven commented dryly.

"Uh...okay?" Gingerly, Beast Boy reached out and snagged the bottle from the swaying Robin.

"Th-at'll...put chairs on yer th-roat!"

"Chairs on your throat? Uh..."

"G'on, takuh drink! Or are yer a-a...impo-imposhter?" Robin hiccupped.

Peering at Raven tentatively, Beast Boy opened his mouth and poured a mouthful down his throat.

It burned.

"Arrk! I gotta drink water..." Beast Boy took off into the air, changing into a hawk with the remnants of his sanity as the alcohol went to his head.

Chuckling, Raven released the cage and watched Robin stagger (at a pretty brisk pace) after Beast Boy. She followed, shoulders heaving with laughter, wishing she'd called Cyborg so he could've recorded this for posterity.

The green hawk, turned black by the indigo sky, yawed crazily, almost dancing through the air as his directional sense shifted from moment to moment. Underneath, where Robin lurched, he fell constantly as he tripped over objects in his path that he did not see, his attention wholly focused on the insanely rocking hawk above. Raven floated along behind them, her quiet chuckles threatening to break out into some sort of guffaw.

Beast Boy made it as far as the sea before his form wavered and he fell, head-first, to splash into the ocean. His spandex inflated with the force of his fall against the water, and he bobbed to the surface, face-up. Raven promptly forgot about him, watching Robin try to grapple the mast of an anchored ship. The line shot up, Robin following, and created a swinging arc that sent him flying over the bow of the ship and into the ocean.

_SPLOOSH._

Some while later, when the moon was sinking down into the east, Robin crawled to the surface of a wooden pier, hair sodden, gel soaking out of it intently. As he sprawled out beside Raven, he rolled over onto his back, looking up at the black sky, shivering slightly.

Raven swung her legs out over the edge, looking down at him and smiling.

"So how many chairs on your throat did you put there?"

Pounding headache resuscitating, Robin sat up. He said nothing, trying to think of some witty response.

A giant green swordfish jumped up onto the pier, splashing a wordless Raven with water. It flopped around for a couple of seconds before transforming back into a limp Beast Boy.

"Aargh, bad day." He collapsed on the dock, out like a light.

Giving up on his search for words, Robin transfixed Raven with a wavering gaze.

"Too many." He collapsed, head hitting the deck.

With a twitch of the lips, Raven gathered her two boys with black power, cocooning them and holding something like a black leash in her hands. As she made her way back to the Tower, through flight, her laughter caused them to hit once or twice on passing buildings.

* * *

A green-tinted bottle bobbed out to sea.

* * *

_Scribere jussit amor._

_--KorelC--_


	4. Outtakes: Take Four

**Outtakes: Take Four**

**A/N:** Yes, Don't Hurt the Windows actually happened. So did Mugger. This version of CM didn't. Well - the camera wasn't crushed with a frisbee, precisely. It was more like a schoolbag. A very heavy schoolbag. It caused physical pain, also. Very painful, it was.

**Disclaimer:**Nuppy. Guppy. Puppy. Pappy. Happy. So technically, no owning TT makes me happy. ...I guess.

* * *

**'Mugger'**

"Robin is hurt, Raven, please heal him!"

This was _after_ she had carried him in, late at night when the lights had gone on a long while ago, nursing his heavily mangled foot. Robin, being the stoic boy that Batman had raised, had barely said a word, looking down at the ground in what looked like embarassment.

As Robin and Starfire had been away for a very long time (far longer than they should have been, even on 'patrol') Beast Boy and Cyborg were both there. Noticing (actually, trying not to look at) the shreds of tough spandex that hung stubbornly on Robin's limb, they worriedly asked Robin what had happened.

Robin didn't say anything.

Instead, Starfire stepped into the breach, eyes glowing in wonder. "He took on a mugger for me, friends! A mugger!"

Robin grunted.

"It was dark, and we had," she blushed, "decided to walk back rather than fly. We were talking, innocently of course-"

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"-and we stepped past a dark alley, where a dark figure was waiting. Slowly, it followed us. I think that heroic Robin noticed it at the time-"

Cyborg snorted.

"-but he did not say anything. We walked up under the cover of a broken lamplight in the East District, and then! The figure drew a knife, and jumped upon us!"

Beast Boy gasped.

"Robin spun, and lashed out with a kick. I confess," Starfire looked at them innocently out through her lashes, "that I was too shocked to respond-"

Raven's eyebrow went even higher.

Cyborg coughed.

"-But Robin saved me! ...Except, somehow the knife went through his boot and into his foot, and he was...injured." Peering at Raven out of the corner of her eye, Starfire ended with a little plea: "Please heal him, Raven, he requires it."

"Alright, fine." Raven moved over to Robin and a blue glow formed around her hands.

Starfire's face seemed to light up. "Thank you, friend Raven!"

Without turning, Raven said, deadpan, "But next time, skip the story. Robin, what did you _actually_ do to yourself?"

Robin grunted. "I cut my foot open on a rock. On the beach. When we were climbing up to the Tower."

* * *

**'Don't Hurt The Windows'**

Her door hissed open.

"Hey, Raven."

Startled, Raven looked up from where she was comtemplating the ceiling, trying to take comfort and peace of mind from its bland colour.

Beast Boy had never sounded so...bitter before. His normally hopeful voice held nothing of its usual squeak; instead, he sounded almost sarcastic.

"I was wondering if..." He lowered his eyes, not looking her in the eye, and she flinched involuntarily, awaiting some fairly bad news. Why else would he enter her room, if not for some emergency? After their fights, after the again-awakening of the Beast, Beast Boy had rarely entered her room again. It was a shame - she'd missed those nights when they were closer. Even if he still infuriated her.

Well, he was an adolescent. And from what she read, adolescents were collectively the most perverted and narcissistic cultural group on the planet.

She didn't know what to think of that.

She'd also read that it was frankly impossible for a male and a female to be friends their whole life without getting...emotionally involved.

She didn't know what to think of that either.

She hadn't thought of Beast Boy that way; not before, during, or after Terra. She'd felt for him, of course (what else could she do? She was _empathic_, for Azar's sake) and tried to comfort him, if only for her own peace of mind. Yet...Beast Boy could very well have taken it the wrong way.

"I...was wanting to ask you whether...would you go with me to the zoo tomorrow night?" His last words came out in a little rush, the tone nervous even if his face twisted into a little wry smile, as if he expected to be rejected.

He was right.

"YOU WOKE ME UP FOR THIS?!"

The splintering of a bed caused a passing Robin, on his way to Starfire's room for a little rest and relaxation, to stop and backtrack. Going down the little side path that led to Raven's door, he was treated to the sight of Beast Boy being pinned against the wall with one tendril while another was whipping him around the head.

Raven floated in her dented doorway (the door itself, thick metal though it was, lay some few metres away, a large metal lump curving up through the center), her cloak billowing though there was no wind, her hands negative with black brilliance.

Robin acted fast.

"Raven, stop this at once. Do not, and this is an order, do not blow up Beast Boy."

She looked at him, her hood thrown back, and Robin almost felt his heart stop. Raven didn't look angry, or furious, or even irritated. There was an expression of cruel amusement there, and it scared him. Then she spoke and it scared him even more.

"But Robin-" gods, she sounded like Kitten, all sugary sweet and venomous when she didn't get her way - in a monotone - "I wanna blow something up. Can I blow something up?"

Robin swallowed and looked to his side out of the corner of his eye. Beast Boy was swallowing too, although he looked far more uncomfortable, with that one tendril around his waist, squeezing. The other had stopped and retracted.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zin-"

"Alright already!" Giving in, Robin just looked at her. "What has gotten into you, Raven?"

"Can I blow-"

Robin buried his head into his hands, wishing he could just wake up.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but someone apparently had a horrible sense of humor. The designs for the new kitchen are very 50ish. It's hideous. There're workmen in there now. Go destroy it. Blow it up. Whatever."

Her lips curled into a smile, and Beast Boy slumped onto the ground limply as she released him.

As she turned to walk (not float, Robin sighed in relief) out from her little alcove, Robin started, startled.

* * *

From behind her (yes, apparently Robin could and _would_ do whatever she wanted him to do, apparently), Robin's voice came echoing.

"Don't blow anyone up, Raven!" To be honest, he sounded more desperate than firm.

She spun around, smirk twisting her lips. "Ooh, but can I splatter them against the wall and watch them bleed?"

The silence was faintly freaked. "No."

"Can I hit them with a baseball bat and watch their brains ooze out?"

The silence...gave up. "Yeah, sure."

"So I can burst their skins and watch their bodily fluids paint the walls red and white and sickly yellow?"

The silence was pregnantly sickened. "Um...okay, fine. Look, I just want to get back to St-"

"And blast a hole in their stomachs until I can watch their food being digested?"

The silence vanished and Robin walked up to her. "Look. Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore."

As he walked away, she said, "What about the doors?"

He got further away. "Whatever."

"What about the windows?"

He stopped, and turned around. "Don't hurt the windows."

Er...

"So I can splatter people against the wall, but I can't hurt the windows?"

He breathed in. Out. In. Out. "Yes. You can hurt people, and blow up the doors, but don't hurt the windows."

He walked away.

She glided towards the kitchen, gathering in her powers.

Beast Boy got up from that disturbing conversation, turned into moose, and took a different path.

* * *

**'Camera Moment: Interlude'**

"Hey, Cy, Rob's..."

_Zzzt-ssst!_

"Oh man, that's the third arm today! Star, Raven, Robin, ease up!"

* * *

"Cyborg, camera please. We need to keep a surveillance on the suspect."

"I can't. You guys busted up my last lenses, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Uh...I'll get a replacement."

* * *

Later...

"Robin and Star are kissing, Cy, I think you should take a-"

_Ka-chunk._

_Crunch._

"Whoops, Cy, sorry for crushing your camera with a frisbee. I guess I misjudged my strength."

"You're paying for this one too, Rob."

* * *

_Scribere jussit amor._

_--KorelC--_


	5. Outtakes: Take Five

**Outtakes: Take Five**

**A/N:** Yep, dialogue is extremely limited. I just recently found a whole two pages, but most of them simply cannot be extended into full-length fics, much as I would have liked to. 'I've Got You' - go read it - was actually recorded here, and since finding it I've realised that the dialogue I used there was actually wrong in sequence. And in body parts.

**A/N 2**: Yes, this is out of order, I know (I must've wrote this a month or two ago, it's much more in character than the last batch.) There's no Camera Moment in this one. The next batch though -

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Titans, the characters of the Teen Titans, or most of the dialogue here. I did have some hand in creating it, though. So, therefore, nuppy.

* * *

**'Orange Tree'**

"Oh, wow, Star..."

In greeting the brand new day, Robin had gone out to the equally brand new obstacle course his team had recently installed, and tried to set a course record that the other Titans couldn't beat.

He'd come to within the very end of the course, dancing in and out of moving laser beams (achieving an insane score of 49 seconds), when he'd seen Star.

Of course, he'd tripped, fallen flat on his face, as always, and ended up more than quadrupling his time.

Star looked...wonderful. The only other words he could come up with were not appropriate for her ears.

Her vermillion hair was pinned back, each lock of hair bound and binding a mandarin silk ribbon that curled around each other in a double helix pattern; her usual skimpy attire vanished, replaced with an earthy brown tunic and slit skirt, stretching up to green flowing sleeves. Her hands glowed with power, and her eyes were stars in themselves. He sat at the watchpit, unable to take his eyes off her.

"Friend Robin?" Her voice was startled, as if she had not expected Robin to be there.

"Starfire, what is...that?" Robin was displeased with himself. His voice had cracked unexpectedly, and it was _not_ how he wanted to sound like to Star - it was most unmanly.

"Do you not approve?" Her lips began to quiver, and he winced inwardly.

"I do, I do...truly, I do!" Robin was more displeased with himself for stammering and stumbling over what he wanted to say.

"You do?"

"Yes," he said in response to her wide smile. "Only...why are you wearing it?"

She simply looked at him, smiling gently. "It is _k'rashi_. Do you like the effect?" Saying so, she tossed her head to the side, causing each helixed ribbon to coil gently around the ends of her hair. The curls of the ribbons melded together strangely, so that they looked as though mandarin baubles hung on the end of every rope of hair. Swishing her hair again, the baubles clattered against each other. The sunlight from above cascaded down and highlighted glossy parts of her locks, and Robin found his eyes being drawn to them almost automatically. They were...they were...beautiful.

She floated down towards Robin, serene in every way, almost looking as though a goddess had deigned to descend to Earth, and Robin suddenly felt very insecure.

She was taller than he, but she met him with open arms, and he was suddenly made stronger by her embrace and her presence.

"Starfire, can I...touch your hair?"

She nodded, face buried in his chest.

Later that day, when the other three Titans had entered the common room and were embroiled in activity (Raven reading, Cyborg and Beast Boy arguing), Robin and Starfire, disheveled but still retaining the full effect of their costumes, re-entered the room.

Robin's entrance caused nothing to occur. It was normal for his spandex to be slightly disheveled from training after all, even if that rip in his shirt looked slightly suspicious.

Starfire's entrance, on the other hand, left Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven speechless. Her broad tooth-showing smile beamed at them, tufts of hair drifting in waves down her right shoulder, mandarin spheres clattering against each other. Her sleeves flowed jade, slightly wrinkled from the Titans knew-not-what, and did-not-want-to-know-what, and her arms flamed on and off with barely emotion-controlled verdant power. Her brown tunic and equally brown skirt caused Raven's eyebrow to twitch.

While Cyborg and Beast Boy were still staring at Starfire (and not watching the stove, which was why Cyborg's bacon was going a shade beyond black), speechless, a corner of Raven's mouth twitched.

"Starfire, why exactly do you look like a rumpled orange tree?"

* * *

**'Sugar Overdose'**

Raven was sitting in the corner, reading, when Beast Boy plonked himself down on the couch next to her. Ignoring him, Raven looked up from her book. Anywhere but at the undoubted nuisance who had come to menace her with truly idiotic jokes.

"Where's Cyborg?"

"Why care about Cyborg when I can be with you?"

Or worse, Beast Boy was in a 'romantic' mood. With all the cheesy pick-up lines and lovey-dovey lines he'd picked up from all his favorite movies.

Raven gritted her teeth and deliberately forced her eyes back down to her book. Perhaps if she ignored him long enough, he'd go away?

...Apparently not. He seemed content to watch her unwaveringly, his eyes probably unconsciously wandering along her body. It made her disgusted to think about him watching her like that, so instead she went back to her book, starting when she sensed two enormously satiated emotional sources approaching. Shifting her body so she would not have to face Beast Boy directly, she watched the doors out of the corner of her eye.

The main doors at the back of the room burst open, and Starfire ran through, laughing, while Robin drifted along behind her.

Wait. Back up a second. _Starfire_ ran? Robin...drifting? Raven dropped all pretense of reading to watch Star and Robin heading down to the couch, aware that beside her Beast Boy was doing the same thing.

"Robin, I thank you deeply!" Not noticing his slightly glazed expression, Starfire flung her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. Oddly enough Robin didn't seem to mind that he wasn't able to breathe - although judging from his expression before, he might not have had been breathing for a while.

"You're welcome, Star," he managed to squeeze out, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her equally tightly. They clung on to each other for what seemed like an eternity to each other.

And to their watchers.

Not quite keeping in mind who was sitting beside her, Raven asked, "Is it possible, on Earth, to puke from too much sugar?"

There was no answer, and Raven cursed herself when she remembered that it was, after all, a lovesick Beast Boy sitting next to her. Crushing on _her._ Lovely. He probably thought the incredibly sticky-sweet display was cute. And, hell, if he thought of going through that with her, he had another think coming.

Beast Boy, on the other hand, was a little more stunned at the display. Robin and Starfire were so...so...dumb about each other that seeing their relationship get this far was blowing his mind. He tried to think of a suitably appropriate comment, but failed, and failed, and failed. By the time he managed to pull something together:

"I think my teeth are going to fall out. Too much sugary sweetness..."

Why was Raven looking at him so sarcastically?

* * *

_Scribere jussit amor._

_--KorelC--_

* * *


	6. Outtakes: Take Six

**Outtakes: Take Six**

**A/N:** Yep, I apologise for the long break between updates. I just didn't feel like it. XD

**A/N:** I will be returning to She Asked For The Moon. I'm just lazy and didn't feel like writing, so I'm always happy when I come across things to add without having to write. Therefore, like the first four chapters of Moon, this is from an earlier style and will therefore be a little strange.

**A/N:** It's also very, _very _short. These're one sentence things I intended and their extended drabbles. So be it. Oh wellz. With the exception of Camera Moment! (...man, how many cameras were ruined, ruined...)

**A/N:** And, like when I looked back over the first four chapters of Moon, there _is_ a tribute to a very, very good TT author. See if you can find the tribute. (And hey, if you object, ma'am, I'm sorry. But. Ooh, and first one to guess wins a virtual prize! Like maybe an update or something!)

**Disclaimer: **T.T

Now. Read.

* * *

**Makeup: Sentence**

Raven didn't know why recently Beast Boy's grins had changed from that disturbingly wide half-smirk half-grin to a warm relaxed smile, but when she found that women's magazine lying double-pagedly sprawled on the kitchen table, she understood.

* * *

**Makeup: Drabble**

It was the one that had said, 'better photos are taken when you imagine that the person who has just walked through the door is the one you have a crush on. You simply look more natural.'

When she confronted him about reading women's magazines (while hiding her soft surprise - he had a crush?) he just shrugged and said: "Hey, we deserve to hear what girls are saying about us, right?"

...She shuddered. Was that an _innuendo_?

* * *

**Smile: Sentence**

Raven always wanted to make Beast Boy smile, but she didn't know how.

* * *

**Smile: Drabble**

Whenever the rest of the Titans engaged in physical contact, like backslapping or hugging, she stayed back - partially to control her powers, partially that she just didn't _know_ where the boundary was. How far is too far, even with Beast Boy? And if she breaks her image now by touching him, will he be freaked out and draw away? She never wants that to happen. She can't laugh either - can't tell him how much she appreciates him making her laugh - and that hurts more than anything else, knowing that he brightens her day -

- and she can't, won't, brighten his.

* * *

**Awkward: Sentence **

He'd stuck onto her like a limpet, and Raven didn't want to tell him to go away for fear it would ruin his self-esteem; as time grew older she grew more and more awkward until, finally...

* * *

**Awkward: Drabble**

Raven always felt a little uncomfortable around BB. He just WOULDN'T GO AWAY. And even when she tried other guys - when _he'd_ loosened her up enough to try other guys - she always wanted to go back to him, because really they never understood her position. Eventually she did, and when she walked willingly into his waiting arms, he looked not at all uncomfortable and infinitely content.

* * *

**Camera Moment: Part II**

"Look, Cy! He's getting closer!"

Any moment now.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were hidden behind a half-wrecked bus-stop as Robin approached Starfire. Raven was nowhere to be seen, and they were _sure_ that Robin and Starfire couldn't see them. With a low chuckle, Cyborg raised his arm, camera ready.

* * *

Robin held Star to him tightly, and a little murmuring arose from her throat. So Cyborg and Beast Boy thought they could get one over on him, did they? Well, he'd frustrated them long enough in the getting of pictures. Any day now, even _they_ could get a spark of a brilliant idea and voila! Incriminating pictures!

No, that wouldn't do. So.

His mouth creased with a burgeoning smirk that hid itself when Starfire looked up at him.

* * *

"Cy, Cy!"

"Wait, grass stain. I'm really close..."

_Ka-click._

"You got it?"

"Mm-hm. Now I'm gonna get some more as backup..."

_clickclickclickclickCLICK_...

* * *

Robin released Starfire, faintly reluctant. Lifting his wrist, he spoke into it.

"Titans, let's go home."

Later, back at the tower, Robin didn't look displeased with his work. Cyborg'd uploaded all his pictures into the computer mainframe, as he'd thought Cyborg would, and so he'd simply hacked in and deleted every single file.

Now, for the final touch, just in case Cyborg'd kept a copy with him. He whirled around and reached into a hidden compartment in one of the exhibits within the evidence room. This was a piece of villainy, something designed to confuzzle the most metallic Titan. He felt a little guilty using it, but it _was_ adequate revenge.

Smirking in a reminiscent way of Red X, Robin stepped out of the evidence room in search of Cyborg, flicking the little electromagnet on.

* * *

"WAFFLES!"

* * *


	7. Outtakes: Take Seven

**Outtakes: Take Seven**

**A/N:** Because, as I said, I'm a hit whore, and this thing jumped up so incredibly much! Thank you all so much...I don't _care_ if they're repeat hits, the number's high!

**A/N:** Gonna warn you. This one is going to be styled out in the good, the bad and the ugly. Actually a bit more like the lame, the angsty and the absolutely insane. I kept trying to make 'Weatherman Says' more insane than it should be - and since it kept churning out serious fics, maybe some other time I'll even post the attempts - but because the event itself was just too absurd, a completely serious fic wouldn't work. Did that sentence make sense? Therefore it's going to be put up as faithful as I can make it a year away from the whole thing.

**A/N:** Yes, everything in this outtake happened. (Some of the other outtakes were faintly exaggerated. Faintly.) This one - everything in this one - is about as faithful as I can make it.

**Warnings:** ...So much stuff to warn about, just take it for granted there might be something you object to in here. Read through it first anyway.

**Disclaimer:** Nuppy. Except for some dialogue and stuff.

LANs over. Read.

* * *

**'Crotchets'**

"Hey, Raven, what's this?"

"It's a _music score_, Beast Boy."

"I can't see that well in this light...what colour's the dots and lines and stuff?"

"They're _black_."

"What do they do?"

Any onlooker could practically feel Raven getting more and more frustrated with Beast Boy. The air around her was practically crackling with exasperation.

"_It allows people to read music._ I'm busy, go away."

"But, but..."

"_GO AWAY!_"

_Slam._

* * *

"Hey, Rob, what're these black dots and lines for?"

"They're notes - crotchets, precisely, and Beast Boy - I have filing to do, aren't you heading down to the city or something...?"

"What's this line thing?"

"A slur."

"Oh, okay!"

Beast Boy flounced out of the room.

* * *

"Hey, Cy?"

"Whassup, grass stain?"

"So Rae told me this was a music score and that there were black dots on this sheet called crotchets and Robin told me that this line was a slur and I was wondering?"

"Yeah?"

"If the crotchets are black and slurred, does that make it a racial slur?"

* * *

**'Replacement'**

The tower was cold in the morning, and Beast Boy wandered back in. He'd taken a holiday, all just by himself, but he could hear the voices emanating from the common room. By the sound of it, the Titans were watching a movie. He smiled and ambled back into the common room, hoping to settle down next to Raven. He'd give her a surprise...

He walked over behind the couch to where Raven's hand peeked up. Next to her was...Speedy? What the hell was he doing here?

"Robin?"

The Titans turned around as one. Their faces were cold, and they all looked hostile. Even, or especially, Raven, where she cuddled with Speedy.

"I..." Beast Boy pinched himself, hoping to wake out of his worst nightmare, but all he did was hurt his arm, and make his heart burn with tears.

They looked at him but didn't say anything and Beast Boy went back to his room and cried. He could hear the babble of regained conversation rising behind him, laughing, laughing, laughing.

After all they'd gone through together, the Titans didn't need him, didn't want him anymore; he'd been replaced, and no one cared.

* * *

**'Weatherman Says'**

It was dark out, the first hint of clouds echoing over the fair horizon. Raven floated, breathing hard against the breeze on top of the Tower, still in ready stance as Beast Boy's tears chilled in slow tracks down his face.

They'd not been fighting, no. In simple terms Beast Boy'd convinced himself that no one cared about him and he'd tried to collapse in a corner of the top of the Tower - so devastatingly close to the edge - and never leave. And if he should fall then so be it. Raven, on the other hand, had not been so accepting. The whole incident had taken place in silence except for one frantic call by Raven that had sent the whole team catapulting out of their beds and onto the roof.

While Starfire stood by in near-tears and Cyborg gaped at his teammate's resigned slouch and dead eyes, Robin leaned his head back and waited. Eventually, maybe Beast Boy would explain what had come over him.

Beast Boy hiccuped.

Four heads snapped to him.

* * *

Cyborg waited for Beast Boy's hiccups to subside before rising and clanking over to him.

"What happened, BB?"

More tears ran their way down green fur, glissando minor under a cloudcast moon. "I'm sorry, I just-"

Silence fell again.

Robin beckoned to the team and they drew closer, ringing away the insecurity of an earlier day. **(1)**

Clouds blossomed on the horizon.

* * *

"Look, I'm going to try to break this mood, okay?"

It wasn't Beast Boy who'd spoken. Not even Cyborg. Robin.

Several apathetic "Yeah,"s greeted his quite...pathetic attempt, actually. Only Starfire gazed at him with half-sappy, half-adoring, half-lidded eyes and nodded.

Robin looked up at the far line dividing the land and sky. It was fairly hard to make out, actually, what with all the heavy hanging clouds and night-cloak sky. If he turned his head he could make out Jump City, still dotted with fireflies of lights.

He extricated himself from the small pile and struck a ridiculous, overexaggerated pose against the chill minutes.

"Stupid sky! Hah hah hah! You can't catch me, for I have-"

The first drops of rain spattered on his face.

"-the most magical powers in the world, and I can control you with just-"

The few drops widened and crowded, and the little drizzle became a little deluge. As Raven instantly flung up a black shield, leaving Robin standing defiantly out in the natural showers, he squared his shoulders and continued to speak.

"-my thoughts! Ha! Beat that!"

A flash of lightning and the ensuing thunder drowned out his words.

From inside the hemisphere, Beast Boy felt a little grin tug at his mouth but firmly suppressed it. Staying here like this was quite nice, really...and watching Robin get scared by a little bit of lightning was quite funny, too.

A jag of lightning that put out a light was punctuated with an explosion of thunder, and Robin jumped but continued orating.

"Ha! Do you think you can scare me? I am the Robin, and even if I don't have any special power, I have my mind! And my mind is preciously precious!"

_JA-CRASH._

"Uh, crap, I may have pissed off the rain god. Uh, uh, uh..." Robin hopped nervously on one foot, licking his lips.

Beast Boy couldn't fight a smile, choking away his tears.

"Crap, I need to sacrifice a maiden to the Rain God. I can't sacrifice Star, so it's gotta be Raven. But...hey, Raven, are you still a virgin?"

Everything, including the rain, stopped to observe a moment of silence for dear, dear, departed Robin.

The hemisphere flickered and died.

_"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"_

As the downpour started up again, Robin backed away from the fuming Raven, waving his hands.

"Look, I just need a sacrifice! To keep the Rain God happy! And you know, I thought you'd be perfect for Him?"

As Raven drew back her hands and Robin cringed, Beast Boy managed a tiny little giggle and his mood spiked a little bit. It was enough for Raven, who floated back and covered the Titans - bar their leader - in a black shelter.

"Okay, fine." Robin pouted and crossed his arms.

Just to spite him, the rain increased another notch, until it became practically blinding and even his waterproof, water-reflecting spandex started absorbing water. When it became noticeable he looked up at the sky and shouted, "You win!" before racing down the stairwell into the Tower.

Just before the flooding roof caused veritable waterfalls down every side of the Tower, Robin bared his teeth at the sky.

"Now, you can't catch me, nyah nyah!"

He did think that was remarkably immature, but...oh well.

Raven sank the rest of the Titans through the floor.

* * *

Robin was aware, of course, of the sleeping arrangement that Beast Boy had with Raven. He'd been kicked out of her room plenty times enough for even Starfire to notice that he slept there at night.

What he _wasn't_ going to do was approach Beast Boy there, so he went to Beast Boy's room and knocked on the door.

The door slid open, and yep, Beast Boy was there; even if Beast Boy wasn't ecstatically bouncing around the room, he seemed content enough.

"Come on in, Rob."

For some reason Robin'd expected Beast Boy's room to be messy, but it wasn't like that. In fact, if anything, it was a little sparse, if cozy. The furniture and wallpaint reminded him of a den in a cave, and Beast Boy certainly seemed at home.

"So...did you like my little exhibition?"

Beast Boy's smile widened. "Which one, the screaming at the rain or the cringing away from Raven one?"

"Uh...the first one. Definitely the first one."

"Genius."

"Thanks."

"You know, maybe you really _can_ piss the weather off. I don't know, I've never tried, but you seem to get attention..."

"What, you want me to try here?"

If that was possible, Beast Boy's smile widened even further.

"Yep."

Robin took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and looked up.

"Hah hah hah! You're just a bit of stupid water that can't even-"

_Splash._

Robin's eyes flew open.

_Splash splash._

"Alright, Beast Boy, what's going on he-"

_Splash splash splash._

"Why do you think I spend so much time in Raven's room?" There was a flash of a one-fanged smile at the corner of his vision as Beast Boy made a hasty escape.

_Plop._

"The roof leaks. See ya later!"

Beast Boy ducked out the door, which slid shut behind him a moment before the leak in the roof widened and became a regular stream of water.

"Curse you!"

The hole in the roof widened and Robin was treated to a soak of night-chilled water.

"Ah, crap."

* * *

"So...y'know what the moral of Robin's story is?"

"What is it, Beast Boy?"

"Five words. Better not yell at the sky."

* * *

**(1)** Anyone else thinking this is incredibly mushy?


	8. Outtakes: Take Eight

* * *

**Outtakes: Take Eight**

**

* * *

**Second last chapter!  
**  
A/N:** Please note that 'If I Had A Gun' was done with non-Titan weaponry, i.e. knives and guns, rather than Cyborg's cannon. And, well, knives. Also please note I dramatised this thing a little, since the punchline is pretty lame, and I attributed different characters to the more regular ones I use for my people - and if they ever read this, I am doomed.

**Warnings:** Drunken slash innuendo.

**Disclaimer:** (Look, this is just another opening for me to ramble, okay? So: No.)

* * *

**'If I Had A Gun'**

The room was dark, the faint sounds ticking away the concrete-silver walls. A recurring flash lit up the dimmed room every few seconds, while Robin joked away.

Well. His idea of a joke anyway. The rest of the Titans - except for Raven - were rather more serious.

"NO, Robin, DON'T!" Beast Boy hung off his arm, frequently shifting to keep his leader, his Alpha, goddamnitall, slightly off balance so he couldn't get Robin from getting any closer to Cyborg and Cyborg's glowing shock cannon/boomstick. Y'know, whichever one he called it. Quite frankly Beast Boy was a little, just a _little, _too busy trying to keep Robin from self-righteous suicide at that point.

As he was swung around, he wondered why Raven wasn't taking a stand. Robin like this, he was _dangerous_.

As he was flung into the couch, he realised. She was giggling too much. Giggling! Getting off on his pain! Urragh! Bearness!

"Come, Robin, please do not do this!"

Starfire. Robin dodged, ducked, leapt; got around her and headed straight for Cyborg. Cy's eye widened, and he clanked away as fast as he could.

"C'mon man, what're you tryin' to do?"

Mumble. "...if I had a gun!"

Beast Boy smarted as Raven opened her mouth and Robin halted in his tracks.

"Hm. Don't you think that killing yourself with Cyborg's cannon would be just a touch messy? Think of our cleaning bills. We aren't as rich as you, you understand."

Robin seemed to sink into thought.

Starfire: "I do not understand! Robin, explain your self-harm instinct to me! ...sister Raven, why are you _smiling_?"

Beast Boy's eyes bugged out. Raven was _smiling_? She was getting off on Robin wanting to off himself? What a cruel, spiteful...

A tendril whapped him into the wall.

"How about a knife, then?"

"There's a thought. I can probably arrange that." Patronisingly: "Good boy."

Beast Boy landed on his feet, less than dazed; it'd take more than a mere pinning to the wall (wait, what? She normally only tossed him there) to keep him away from this! Goddammit, Robin was his Alpha, and no female, no matter how attractive, was going to keep him away from his leader!

Mm. Attractive...

A tendril whapped him into the wall.

"How about this one?" Raven casually lifted a knife from the kitchen and floated it over to Robin.

He took it and casually tested its balance and grip. "It'll do."

She didn't so much as budge, though her grin was broadening to the point of being visible within her hood. "Go on, then."

His eyes glinted, and as Beast Boy watched in horror, Robin suddenly reversed his grip and dove upon Raven, bringing the knife to close to that throat. The tendril around him tightened, and began to pulsate slowly.

As Robin used Raven as a human shield, both Cy and Starfire gasped and brought up their weapons, energy gathering.

"Rob, what do ya think you're doin'?!"

From the wall, Beast Boy gave up gaping in horror and shifted, speeding over in fly form.

Shifting to human, he full body-tackled his leader and screamed in his ear.

"STOP!"

Meekly, for once: "Okay, I'll stop."

The knife dropped from nerveless fingers and was instantly incinerated by Cyborg.

"Robin?" Starfire seemed perplexed. Raven was grinning.

"Rob, you have some explainin' to do."

"Ehh," he rubbed one hand through gelled hair, "I thought it was funny?"

Beast Boy and Cy hit their heads on the nearest hard object.

"Look," Cy finally said, "Next time, don't go after my gun, will ya?"

"And, and, and," Beast Boy, desperate to get a word in, "Don't touch any knives. Get my point?"

Starfire was still confounded, but managed to join in the mass groan. It was as much a part of the Titans by now as dodging when someone shot an energy blast at you.

"Beast Boy..." Raven snarled. Stopped. "You always did know how to defuse the tension."

Beast Boy blinked. "It was bad?"

* * *

**'The Diarrhea Effect'  
**

"Beast Boy!"

"Sup!"

"Let me take over your body! I think I see a way around this!"

"Done!"

He let his arms and legs go limp, his mind calm and relaxed and not totally coherent, curling up to the Beast in the corner of his mind as Raven threw herself into his body and took over.

_Whoa would you look at that_

_Hnnrrh? _the Beast responded.

_My legs are running_

* * *

**'Too Slow...Poke!'**

She was creeping up behind her prey, like the xonag'flors of her home world, fingers ready for his punishment. He had aggravated her one too many times, today. One too many times for his own good.

She smiled, stopping for a second, to see him asleep, sprawled over the common room couch where he felt most comfortable, the other Titans having taken the day off and were seeing to their social needs by visiting the Titans East (Well, Cy had, BB'd gone after him for the sole purpose of teasing him, and they'd both dragged Raven along). But not for long. She was going to _pay him back_.

She approached him, floating above the ground so that he wouldn't be able to hear her presence, and slowly, infinestimally, descended on his stomach.

His eyes sprung open and he dove on her, bringing her to the ground and poking her repeatedly in the shoulder.

"Hah, I had you fooled!"

Wriggling out from under him, she took off into the air in astounded shock. "Friend Robin, I thought you were asleep!"

He lunged at her, grinning as she dodged him in midair. "Not enough to not be able to smell you!"

Shocked. "Are you implying that I am odorous?"

"Mm. You decide."

She decided that she really did like this side of Robin. Shaking her head, she ascended more so that his casual springs off the ground wouldn't be able to snag her.

How was she to be able to poke him, then?

A hand seized her ankle and pulled her down, to face Robin's thoroughly annoying grin.

"Far too slow..." he ended with a poke to her side, laughing as she oofed indignantly at him.

Starfire smiled, a slow, almost malicious smile, and hurled herself at him. She noted his blush and his spluttering, and brought her hands up under his armpits.

Through his following manic laughter, she emphasized every word. "You. Will. Not. Be. Able. To. Poke. Me. Anymore."

He stopped laughing so suddenly that she stilled also, which turned out to be a rather bad mistake. He curled his legs up and flung her off him, diving after her.

"Watch me!"

* * *

**'You'd Have To Grow'**

Aqualad sprawled on the cushions that spilled around him, eating unhurriedly out of a bag of chips while Argent curled up against his side. As her hand moved against his hips he stilled.

"Mnnrr, Toni," he mumbled through the mouthful of half-broken chips. "Don't."

"Why?" She was drunk. He was drunk. They were both drunk, he thought.

Beast Boy's ears perked up and he dragged himself around, senses swimming slightly, to keep an eye on them. How was he to know alcohol hit him harder than normal?

"I happen to think you're quite attractive," she purred in his ear, working her hand up. "Don't you think I am?"

"...Mmnnrrr, Toni, I'm sorry, but you'd have to grow a dick first."

* * *

**'So I Fixed It!'**

He was speaking with a growl, she thought at first. A growl, threading its way through his voice. And some forgotten, uncontrolled, primal instinct was making her knees go weak. Surely it wasn't fear, that instinct. Then again...her mind shied away from the alternative. It must be fear. Surely it wasn't...

His voice was lower than before, and did she ever notice how his muscles shifted when he moved? He'd been scrawny, but somehow he was taller than her now and when he stretched...

Oh, her head hurt.

"Rae? Rae? Are you feeling okay?"

No wait, his voice was back to normal. High, almost squeaky, and annoying. No trace of the purring? growl that was before. Was she dreaming? Surely not. Not about _him_. Surely not.

"Beast Boy...?"

"Sup?"

And, oh Azar, that voice was back.

Then he grimaced, and his usual voice came back. "Sorry, Rae. It's...getting out of control."

Instantly worried, she laid a hand on his shoulder. "The Beast?"

"No. It's just..." he sighed, "My voice's been getting deeper for the past few weeks. I don't think I'm breaking, I haven't been squeaking or anything, but..."

Raven snorted. "You squeak so much, how're you able to tell?"

"Hey!"

"See? But honestly," she shook her head, "What're you doing to yourself?"

"My voice was broken, so I fixed it?"

* * *

Lame, I know. I apologise -- one more chapter, and this torment is over.

Review!


	9. Outtakes: Take Nine

**Outtakes: Take Nine**

**

* * *

**A/N: I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, O Lord! ...I've had this done for a while, and there's not actually very much to it (it's about a fifth the size of the other chapters), and thank god it's over, and all that. Yes, once this is posted, that's it for Outtakes, thank god, because I'm not the same person I was when I posted it at the beginning. On the other hand, some of this writing _dates_ back to that self I was when I started this fic, so it ought to be more or less continual. No matter! Onwards, downwards, and finishing at the end!

* * *

**'Cashier'**

The store bell jingled. Outside, through the glass door, lay a gleamingly green moped, leaning against the petrol pump. And a figure, clad in purple and black and green, stepped through the door, startling the _hell _out of Tara. She slicked her hair out of the way, remembering but, yet, not -- did she want to forget? Or not? Or...

"Hi, Terra."

"H-Hi...um, do I know--Gar?"

"Yeah, it's me." He smiled, fang showing -- always smiling, flashes of smile, a green pterodactyl, sunlight and flight--; and walked up to the counter, laying his helmet down with a clatter.

"I just wanted to come check up on you."

"Gar..." Terra tousled her blonde hair back, out of her eyes -

"It's okay, you don't have to come check up - or out - me. I'm fine, I'm really fine and I like it like this. Besides, I have a boyfriend now, and we can't keep meeting like this."

His smile dimmed, fang withdrawing just a little. "If you say so, Terra."

"Yeah, I do."

Then she looked at him with those bright blue eyes, that focused and unfocused all at once.

"I'm sorry, sir, who are you looking for?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "I thought she was here, but I guess she was just a ghost of my past. Sorry for bothering you." He flashed the counter girl a grin, and walked back out of the door.

The store bell rang again, the moped vrooming and coughing into a high-pitched squeal of tires.

_-- a smile; brightly shining green pterodactyl black against the sun --

* * *

_

**'Camera Moment: Part III' and 'No Love Life'**

Two months, numerous misdeveloped photographs, and a hallway of trashed cameras later, Robin eventually lost his patience.

"Why are you always taking pictures of us?" Robin, finally demanding, and Starfire also demanding, albeit more grammatically. "Why do you take pictures of the two of us? We have done you no wrong."

"Because you're so cute together!" Beast Boy, super-hyper.

"Because we have no love life!" Raven, slightly sarcastically, and yet played straight with an uncharacteristically happy grin.

Pause for looks of shock from all of the team.

"...That too." A shocked Beast Boy, but still equally as hyper as before.

* * *

**'Remote Control: Reappearance'**

"Hey, Cy, do you remember that joke you made...oh, about a year ago?"

"...No. What was it?"

"About the initials of a remote control? And a wall?"

Turning away from his repair of the T-Car, yet again, Cyborg fished for a wrench before smacking himself in the face with his good arm and manifesting it in his other arm.

"Ah...no. So, what was my punchline?"

"Arsy and the wall both have cracks!"

Cyborg managed a sweatdrop. "No, man, I don't remember that one...are you sure you're not making it up? Because I really don't remember it."

"No, really! You said it and I remembered it because it was so lame!"

"Haha, good one, BB; always trying to be a prankster, huh?"

"I'm _telling _you I _heard_ you _say _it! Why won't you believe me?!"


End file.
